I Meant To...

I meant to take pictures of my current knitting today. I really did. The day went by too quickly once again, though, and now the light outside is too crappy to take photos. I will do it soon. Currently I am working on a scarf for my sister which is really cool and very interesting in its construction, as well as another scarf for myself in a beautiful yarn that I absolutely LOVE. I don't think I am working on anything else currently. Of course there are a pile of WIP's that I feel really guilty about. I should really be working on those. Also, trying to figure out what I want to do for the upcoming Ravelympics (basically knitting olympics, for those non-fibery people out there, or non-Ravelry users.) Also, trying to work up the motivation to drastically change my eating habits. I am heavier than I ahve ever been, and I hate it. A few counseling sessions with the school psychologist last term at school also brought to the surface that there is a good possibility that I have an overeating type of eating disorder. Unfortunately, I can't really afford long-term therapy, so this is something I need to try to figure out on my own. Either way, I need to change how I eat. Same with the boyfriend- he is diabetic, and it is getting worse. So, tough changes need to be made. For now, though, I will continue to enjoy the fresh baked banana bread I made yesterday and try to ignore the fact that I am fat. Blegh. Have a bunch of reading and a paper to write tonight after The Monsterette goes to bed. Going to have to do some catching up on homework this week. Just writing that I can feel the stress sinking in. Not really looking forward to the late night tonight, followed by an early morning and yet another Monday. Friday is disbursement day for financial aid as well as the day I am supposed to get my tax return, so things to look forward to, at least!

Bad Blogger. No Cookie.

It's amazing how quickly life can sweep you up in all of its craziness, and before you know it you've completely neglected the little things, like this blog. Life has definitely been crazy and hectic here, although maybe not as much as I think. I do still time to play stupid games on Facebook and peruse Ravelry for large chunks of time. So why not the blog? I have been thinking about this blog. No longer the back and forth about whether or not I really want to continue blogging- I have definitely decided that I do. But more contemplation about what I want this blog to be. I have pretty much concluded that this blog is for ME. While I love having readers, love that sense of community, know that somewhere out there there are a few people that are pulling for me or interested in what I have to say, my main purpose for this blog is get the stuff out. I think I began this blog as a place to share and showcase my knitting, which I would still like to do. Knitting is still a big part of my life, and it brings me a lot of joy. Not to mention the wonderful things I have been able to create and the excellent friends that I have made through knitting. Anyways, I think I would really like to be more candid here. Share more of my life, even the nitty gritty shit. Sometimes I just need to get things off of my chest, or share my joy with another person, even if that person doesn't really exist outside of my comment box. So, if you are a faithful reader, be prepared for more LIFE here. More stories. Definitely more rambling. There will still, of course, be knitting content. I really miss taking photos of my new yarn and knitting progress, sharing that stuff with everyone. Showing off, maybe. So there should be more content, knitting content included. Ah, life. It has been a little crazy. School eats up a large chunk of my time. I'm taking five classes this term, all but one of I am really, truly enjoying. (The one I am not enjoying so much is Intro to Physics, and I mainly don't like it because a) I know pretty much everything we are learning already and b) my teacher does this weird nasally breathing thing that really gets on my nerves.) I am loving my Honors class, which is focusing on race, racism, culture, and societies. It is super interesting, and the whole class period is spent just having discussions. It is GREAT. I love to have intelligent discussions, so I really look forward to this class. I am also take two history classes, one of them Western Civilization and one Architectural History. While both are straight lecture classes, I am really enjoying both of them. For me, that's kind of a big thing. I used to really hate history classes. I think as I have grown older I have more of an appreciation for other people's cultures, and learning about them is incredibly fascinating. I am debating now switching my major from Architecture to something in the anthropology field (anthropology is basically the study of humans.) I've always loved other cultures, been fascinated by their practices, and I think I would really enjoy majoring in it. There are some other factors playing into it, but it is something I have been giving serious thought to lately. Anyways, school is keeping me busy. Lots of homework, more reading than I really think is possible, and lots of projects to think about. I do still squeeze in some time for knitting, and will definitely be sharing some of that with you guys soon. Also been mulling over some goals for the year, and will hopefully be able to put those into writing and get working on them soon. Enough rambling for one day, adios!

Home Again

Back home from a short visit to the mountains. Spent some time at the local park. Got some knitting done, and had fun playing cards over a few tequila sunrises. Relaxed a little bit. Got in some political debates. Had some yummy food, and there was no car sickness on the drive there OR the drive home! Woot! (The Monsterette is quite known for her car sickness. Major suck.) So, have I mentioned that my Grandpa is paying for the entire family, including me and The Monsterette, to go on a Christmas cruise to Cozumel? Pretty nice of him, huh? I'm actually kind of bummed- this means missing Christmas with my boyfriend. Also, I am a big of fan of a traditional Christmas. This will definitely be a little weird. I'm also stressing out because of money and the joys (SARCASM) of traveling with a toddler. Anywho, hopefully it'll be fun. It'll be good to see the family, at any rate, even if I will have to cram my fat pasty ass into a swimsuit in December. Blegh. Have you ever been to Cozumel, or that area of Mexico?

Sick & Tired.

I went to the Student Health Services center on campus yesterday to get my nasty cough checked out. Apparently I have bronchitis. The nurse gave me a prescription for some antibiotics which I meant to pick up today, but of course The Monsterette barfed all over herself as soon as we got into the Wal-Mart parking lot. Joy. So, I'll pick that up tomorrow. Hopefully it will make me feel better. Today I was planning on catching up on some much needed R&R, but no go. Oh well. There's always next Friday. I haven't been sleeping well because of my waking up frequently with coughing fits, and some craziness going on in my life. Oh hell, let's skip to the good stuff. My mom and dad are getting a divorce. Really, it's been a while coming, and it's for the better. But in the last week or so, a LOT of really messed up stuff about my dad has been coming into light. Apparently, he's been living a double life. I don't really want to get into the nitty gritty details, and most of you close to me already know them, anyways. But he's done some really hurtful stuff, not just to my mom, but to me and my siblings, as well. He's being a really big asshole, and I'm questioning if I really ever want to see or talk to him again. So that's been pretty rough. I'm not really sure how to deal with it all, I'm still in shock about a lot of it. All in all, it's been a really long week. Hopefully I'll be able to muster the energy to go to the State Fair tomorrow. On a more postive note, I did get new shoes today. Woot for new shoes!

Making an Effort

Hey, guys! Any readers still out there? Anyways, I'm going to be trying to blog more. Life is sort of settling down here. Monsterette and I got all moved in to our new place, and I really like it. The space is excellent, and it's mine, which is great. I lost my job about a month ago, and thank goodness for the extra money from my student loans, which has carried me up until this point. I'm still looking for another job, though- as most of us in the US know, the job market here pretty much blows. I had a good interview today, though, and am keeping my fingers crossed that I get it, because now I'm really struggling for money. The whole divorce thing is still wierd. We haven't filed yet, but getting there, working out all the stupid paperwork and stuff. Ex-Hubbster and I are on friendly terms, which is good. I'm dating again, but don't want to get too much into that here. But I'm happy, just incredibly stressed about life and money. I've had a few really bad points the last few weeks, but have struggled through them. Things are definitely hard, but looking better every day. One good thing that has come from all this is getting back in touch with my faith. I've been away from it too long, and getting active in it again has really brought my some much needed peace of mind. Knitting has been scarce, mostly because I'm still trying to get a routine down for my life, which is hard without a job. But I have been knitting. I'll try to take some pictures of stuff for you guys and get them up here. OH! And the Boyfriend and I went to Las Vegas, Nevada for Valentine's Day! It was my first time in Vegas- we had SO much fun! It was really great. I can't wait to go back. Maybe I'll post some pictures of that, too. I feel so disconnected from all you guys- all my far away friends, the people I love, but I really only have a connection with here and on Ravelry. I miss reading blogs! Please, leave me a comment or shoot me an email with what's been going on in your life. I miss my friends!! Oh, and Sarah, I AM working on the amigurumi. I feel SOOOOOOOOO bad about it. The guilt is killing me! I promise that I'll have them done before next Christmas. ;) Anyways, email me, write to me, comment to me, call me, something! I'm lonely!

Getting back to life.

Alright, I know it's been FOREVER, and I never did reply to some of your comments. Please know that even if I did not get back to you, I really appreciated all the support and everything that you guys poured my way. It really helped. Anyways, LIFE. I've been working full-time, and also still doing the full-time student thing, which keeps me busy enough. Throw in all the other chaos (being sick, a divorce, sick baby, driving all over the place) and life gets pretty hectic. I've been managing, though, but really, really busy. I've also found a GREAT place to live near Old Town Albuquerque, which is really awesome. it's affordable, and the perfect size for me and the Monsterette. On that note, things are kind of weird. I miss the stability of my life, miss being part of a family. It's odd to think that next weekend when I move into my new place, I'll officially be a "single mom." Well, the divorce isn't final on paper, but yeah. Still. Weird. I'm kind of struggling with it, but I really don't have any time to be stressed about it or dwell on it too long, which I suppose is a good thing. It sucks that I have pretty much lost half of my family and most of my friends- none of EX-Hubbster's family is talking to me AT ALL, and the few mutual friends that were hanging on by a thread after the divorce stuff came around have all disappeared into the ether. So I really appreciate the few friends I have left in town and around the world. Surprisingly, I have found a tiny bit of time to knit here and there. I've been working on a cute hat in colorwork, which I'm really enjoying. I'll try to get some knitting updates here soon- I would like to get the ol' blog dusted off and running again, if I still have any readers left. Once again, thanks so much for the support and well wishes and happy thoughts sent my way. Even if I don't have time to respond, know that it is very much appreciated, and I consider you guys my friends. Oh, and I haven't read a blog in MONTHS, so don't feel bad if you feel like I'm not responding or talking to you- it's not you. Really. It's me. Once the dust settles, I'll sit down and read blogs for two days straight and get all caught up on your lives. Miss you all!

Hey, Look!

I'm posting before noon! It's not a few minutes before midnight! Imagine that... Ummmm, not really sure what to blog about today. Do you guys read PostSecret? If not, you should go check it out. I live the mornings I sit quitely with my tea, reading through the secrets of other people, just letting the emotions wash over me- sadness, happiness, fear, pain, love. Kind of amazing, really. So, I've been listening to a lot of hip hop lately, mostly just a mix cd that I made. I like it because it's all upbeat, and I can dance around to it. I don't know if any of you listen to any hip hop at all, but have you noticed (if you do listen to it) that they come up with some of the weirdest shit in the lyrics? Like "I got so much chips you can have a bag if you're a snacker." Huh? And what about "Them birthday cakes, they stole the show." Ummm, right. Seriously, I don't get it sometimes. Remember "I love you like a fat kid loves cake"? Hee hee. Oooooh, so much work to do this weekend. School is hard. Blegh. Alright, should go get ready for class. Speaking of! Have I mentioned that I have to wear ugly navy blue scrubs to all of my cosmetology classes? Weird, isn't it? At least I'm comfortable and don't have to think about what I'm wearing. But man are they fug. Alright, really going to get ready for class now.

Randomosities

Remember, tomorrow is the last day of the Army of Women contest. Get your blogs posted and let me know! Also, if you wanted to donate a prize for the goodie box, please get in touch with me. It would be much appreciated! Thought I would give a short "life" update. School has been going really well, and keeping me pretty busy. tomorrow I register for next semester's classes, which I am excited about. Been hunting for a job and a daycare for the Monsterette. I've been dealing with some rougher stuff, like my grandpa having cancer again, that is making life just a bit more stressful and not so fun at times. I got glasses. I was getting really bad headaches with all the time I've been spending at the computer, and I knew it had to be vision-related. They've helped wonders, and I'm getting over how old having to wear glasses makes me feel, and starting to kind of like them. I've been knitting on a hellacious project for The Hubbster. It's very cool, and he'll love it, but it has been driving me crazy. I just can't seem to get in the groove with this one. I'll be blogging more about that in the future, though. I think that's about it for tonight, it is late and I need to get some sleep! See you tomorrow!

So. Tired.

Midterms should not be called "midterms". It should be called "that one week in the middle of the semester where you're so tired you can hardly stand it and you're studying so hard you want to die and sometimes you wish you could just cry or punch yourself in the face or both but you can't because you have to study more" week. Although that doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Hee, even writing that made me giggle a little. Might be the lack of sleep, might be that I'm so damn funny I can't help but laugh at my own jokes. Hardy har har. I really want to relax. one of my favorite things to do is lie on the couch and "motivate". today I told The Hubbster, "Dammit, I never get to motivate any more. All I do now is stuff, and it sucks." I want to take yarn pictures. I want to knit more. I want to motivate on the couch. I want to watch television and go to bed at 9 (or earlier!) if I want to. As i always say, though, you can want in one hand and shit in the other, and see which fills up first! Now that I think about that statement, it's kind of gross. i think I'm done here. How's your week going? Will you all please do some motivating for me?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ugh, it's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry. Life has been REALLY hectic and busy, but really awesome, as well. A few weeks ago, The Hubbster quit his job. He really hated it there, and rightfully so. That, though, is a whole different story. So, a few weeks ago, we found ourselves with one last check in the mail, enough money to get us through August, and no income at all. Kind of scary. We sat down and talked about what we wanted to do- should we both try to work? Should he try to find a job that paid as well as the last one? We struggled with the ideas a bit, then came to the perfect decision for both of us. We're both going back to school. We might try to find part-time jobs, but we'll both be full-time students at the local community college. It looks like our student loans will be able to support us through the summer. Monsterette won't have to go into daycare at all, unless we decide to work. All in all, we're really happy with it, and family and friends have been very supportive. All of this has been a little stressful, but we're thisclose to being done with everything. I have very little left to do, just getting my student ID and that stuff. I'm officially a registered, full-time student. (For those of you wondering, I'm really close to finishing my classes for Cosmetology. Not what I want to do forever, but it's a great option for me right now.) I'm a little scared. A little excited. A LOT happy. We both are, and that makes life much more easy to deal with. So, until classes start on the 2nd, we'll been doing a lot of running around, filling out forms, and standing in lines. But it's good. I do feel bad about not blogging. More for myself than for you guys, even though I do love you guys. Blogging was a lot of my stress relief, my outlet to the world, my place to share my life with whoever wants to read it. to put myself out there, and to take a moment every day to write or share. So, I'm REALLY going to try to blog more. Life is going to be crazy, but I think everything will be okay. I hope so. I'll try to keep you all updated!

Shitty.

Today I am having a really shitty day. No, I don't really want to talk about why. As a result, though, I'm way stressed out and destroyed the low-carb diet I've been doing by devouring a bag (a full-size one, even) of Chili Cheese Fritos and four ice cream bars. Now I'm suffering from not only the stress of a shitty day, but a sugar crash, general sickish feelings, and the guilt of totally failing my eating healthy. I choked down my disgusting can of V-8 juice this morning for NOTHING. I'm all bummed and mopey now, and don't really have the motivation to get done what needs to be, but I'll do it anyways, because I have to. And pr0obably continue to be crabby. and then maybe take a really long shower and cry for a bit. I'll most likely continue to be pissy and mopey until I get to leave for Stitch n' bitch tonight, which usually cheers me up. I fucking hate days like this.

Saturday, July 5th, 2008

Yep, we're in Santa Fe again. We came up yesterday for the fourth, and it was pretty mellow. Good food, hanging out with friends, that sort of thing. Hubbster and I also quit smoking, cold turkey, yesterday. I didn't think quitting would be this miserable. Here's to hoping it gets better. I hope this publishes, because this computer sucks. (I really wish my mother-in-law would just get a new one already!)

No Time...

To blog tonight. I'm busy doing crazy shit, like sewing an entire outfit for the Hubbster, for an SCA event next weekend. Yes, I leave for Minnesota very early on Wednesday morning. No, I'm not even thinking about packing yet. I promise it'll be much less lame tomorrow. PROMISE.

Sorry!

No time to properly blog today, too much to do! I'm about to head up to Santa Fe, get the Hubbster, and then we'll be on the road. Wish us luck, and if you're the prayin' type, pray for us to have a safe journey. Thanks guys, I'll miss ya, see you on Monday or Tuesday! MWAH!

Blegh.

I totally feel like crap today. On top of that, when I went to go to the store, the car was dead. Double crap. So, yeah. I've spent most of the day lounging around and napping, and working on my sock. I realized when I finished the cuff (where I had planned to stop, and start the second one) that I should have wound the bell into two separate balls first. Uh, duh. So, I'm just cranking away on sock number one. Otherwise it would've meant breaking yarn and mismatched stripes and all that crap. This pattern isn't so bad, though, and hopefully I'll be able to avoid the Second Sock Syndrome. Jeez, I hope it fits. Tomorrow I'll try to take some progress pictures for you guys! I feel kind of bad blogging about knitting with no pictures! Off to go lounge and knit some more. See ya tomorrow, of course.

Spring Cleaning

Alright. That time is upon us, and I have some serious cleaning and organizing to do. This list is more for my own organization, but I thought you guys might be interested in how filthy and unorganized our humble abode is. I can hopefully do at least one thing on the list a day, and it should only take me until December or so to get the spring cleaning done! Woo! KITCHEN - Move the stove and fridge, sweep and mop underneath. - Scrub the floor. - Clean out the fridge. - Clean out the pantry and organize it better. - Clean out the cabinet above the sink. BEDROOM - Get a handle on the laundry! - Figure out what in the closet hasn't been used since we moved in, and get rid of it. - Throw out unpaired and worn out socks. - Clean the windowsill and blinds. - Edge vacuuming. - Finally take the bags for Goodwill to Goodwill. They are doing nobody any good sitting in the closet. BATHROOM -Organize the junk under the sink, and get rid of what isn't being used or we don't need. - Scrub the floor. - Scrub the tub and shower walls. - Caulk around the tub to keep the ants out. (Gross, I know. At least they stay in the bathroom.) LIVING ROOM - Clean out and organize that one weird cabinet. - Organize the knitting/craft cubby. - Get a handle on the stash- no more buying yarn!! - Figure out how to make the carpets look less dirty. - Sand and paint the coffee table (okay, not really cleaning, but something I REALLY want to do!) - Clean the blinds. BALCONY - Throw out any junk. - Make room in the closet to store the tools. - Vacuum the outdoor carpeting. I think that's pretty much everything. Sigh. I should get cleaning.

Horror

In the wee hours of Thursday morning, I cast off on the wedding shawl. A very sleepy me went to bed, and washed and blocked the shawl Thursday afternoon. Blocking went well, the yarn got nice and soft, and I was happy! This morning, the shawl was completely dry, and I unpinned it. I admired it, tried it on with it buttoned like a wrap, admired my handiwork. I spread it out on the back of my couch, at breakfast, and got ready to wrap it all up for the bridal shower tomorrow. I admired it a little more, and to my complete horror, saw this: Two dropped stitches. HORROR. Now, had I had a week or more, or it was for me, I would put in a lifeline, take out the cast off, rip back to the boo boo, and reknit the rest. It was about 5 repeats from the end of the shawl, so it would suck, but life is life. I, however, am giving this as a gift tomorrow. TOMORROW. No time to rip back, knit five repeats or so, and rewash and block the damn thing. I had to get creative. First off, I picked up the dropped stitches. I figured, since it was two stitches, that they ended in a decrease. (That little tool, by the way, I love. It's an itty bitty crochet hook, but it's totally perfect for picking up dropped stitches. I use it all the time. ) At this point, I was at a loss. What do I do know? I perused the interwebs a bit, and found no help. I decided to just go for it, and grabbed some of the leftover yarn, and thread it onto a tapestry needle. I went through both of the stitches from the front, then underneath one of the legs between two stitches, like so: The red is the extra yarn, the blue the two dropped stitches, and the green, the leg. After that, I went back through the two stitches, and pulled both ends through to the back. You can hardly see the boo boo at this point: I know knots in knitting are generally a no-no, but I wasn't about to have this one fall apart. So on the back, I firmly tied a square knot: I then wove in the two ends, and now you can barely see where it was. I have to really look for it, and even then, can only really find it by finding where I wove the ends in. A non-knitter should never see it. Success! A truly beautiful knit. It is light and airy, but warm and cozy at the same time. I love it. I'm totally going to make myself one! A few side notes: tomorrow I'll be out of town, and probably not able to blog here. I promise to do some old-school blogging (AKA journaling) tomorrow, and I'll post it when I get back on Sunday. Lastly, some tags for those poor folks who have the same issue and need some pictoral help: finished knit lace dropped stitch stitches help fix repair pick up

Life.

I guess I don't really post often about my life and things going on here. Nothing too deep, nothing that's too "real". I guess i've always been like this, sheltered, putting up a wall. Cautious, too, about what is on the internet. but life is life, and you guys are my friends. So, here goes. Things have been a little hectic and stressful lately. at the end of February, the place where my husband worked for three years closed it's doors permanently. He applied to a few places in the same business, and the only one that really looked interested in him didn't offer him a job until his last day at work for the old business. Fortunately, they offered to pay him a dollar more an hour than he was making, and we'll also be able to get health insurance for the whole family. He says they seem like good people, and it'll be a good job. He'll be working less hours a day, but one extra day a week. (Before, he was working Monday through Thursday, now he'll work Friday as well.) It'll take some getting used to a more corporate environment, coming from the small and laid back shop he was at, but it shouldn't be too big of a deal. The thing that sucks, really, is he can't start until March 31st. That means we have a full month with no income. His old boss (who is a really great guy) did give him one weeks pay as severance, and off the books. He's applied for unemployment pay, but there's a one week waiting period before they'll send a check, which really means it'll be almost two weeks. This means we'll only get three checks total from them before he starts working again, and at about 65% of his pay before- not enough to support a family. His dad graciously offered to help out iwth money, but it still kind of sucks. I'm weirded out that he's been home all the time, and feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm stressed, as well, because finances is my job, and now it's difficult, because the money isn't there. on top of all that, he being here totally throws off me eating healthy, because he comes home with fast food and buys crap at the grocery store. I'm also starting to worry about the wedding shawl for my sister in law. I've finished 11 repeats out of 17, and should be able to finish it by next weekend for her shower. I'm just now getting to the point where the knitting for someone else is getting tedious and annoying. I want to knit for me, and only when I want to, not because I have to! Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. In addition, there's been all this drama about her shower, which is being held in Durango, Colorado. (Lord knows why when almost all of the attendees live here, in New Mexico.) There's been shit about who's going, and who's riding with whom, and I've been kind of stuck in the middle. All this, on top of wondering how much I really want to go anyways, has been stressful, as well. Ugh, I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm personally not looking to a four hour drive one way with someone I hardly know and her two pre-teen girls. I don't even know if I'll have my own bed in the hotel room! Although, the LYS in Durango sells Malabrigo... Okay, maybe this is why I don't blog about real life. I get all crazy and write forever. See you tomorrow...

Fun Times

My sister has been in town since Saturday morning, and I've been having a blast with her! Shopping, good food, snowboarding, and hair dye have all played their part these past few days, and boy do I have some funny crap to tell you guys. Well, I think it's funny, at least. Knitting has been almost non-existent, and I really need to get cranking and finish the very few bits I have left! packages need to get mailed, and I've given up hope (once again) on doing Christmas cards. Even though this is my favorite time of year, I'm a little stressed. On that note, I'm leaving you guys with yet another LOLcat- this one, though, totally reflects my feelings today. See you soon! moar funny pictures

Goodnight

I know, it's not that late, be we had a long day. Drove up to Taos (about 135 miles) so I could get some Malabrigo (yum!). Stopped in Santa Fe for dinner. I'm tired, and going to bed. Sorry for yet another lame post. Hopefully tomorrow I can show some cool pictures, but no promises- tomorrow is going to be crazy and hectic and yeah. The thought of it right now makes me stressed. So, I'm off to bed. See you tomorrow...